A few weeks ago, I spent the day with my oldest son on his 19th birthday. Nothing huge was planned, he only wanted to invite some friends over for pizza. First though, I needed to go over and visit with my mom who had arrived back home the night and he was excited to go with me. On our way over to see my mom, Alex asked if we could stop by the cemetery and visit his Pop-pop’s grave.
I always knew that my dad played a special role in Alex’s life, but I never realized the deep, life-long impression that my dad had on his life. An impression that I’m not sure any other person will have in his life. My dad wasn’t perfect, so I don’t want to make it out that he was and that I’m putting him on a pedestal in some way. But regardless of his shortcomings, my dad loved well and his love was huge. Alex knew his Pop-pop loved him with all of his heart and that love was mutual.
My first thought when Alex mentioned going by the cemetery was that I didn’t have any flowers, and funds were too low to get a silk arrangement made and it troubled me. So we went on and had a great time with my mom. Leaving, I completely forgot about going to the cemetery until Alex reminded me and with a quick U-turn we were on our way. Again, the thought of not having flowers really crushed my heart. I always put a new silk flower arrangement in the vase when I go and not having any flowers made me feel like I was disrespecting my dad in some way. As we got out of the car, there on the ground was a beautiful bush or bundle of white magnolia flowers. As I picked them up, I noticed that they were completely dry with not a spec of dirt or mud. My first thought was, “Lord, are these for here for me? Surely these belong to someone.” My dad’s grave sits all the way back a little distance from the road. So, I made my way back to my dad’s grave, looking down row by row to see if I could find where the flowers belonged all the while prayerfully thinking, “Were these flowers there for me?” As I looked down the rows, every vase I saw not only had flowers, but every vase was completely full of flowers. Approaching dad’s grave, I removed the faded arrangement I’d put there months before and replaced them with the magnolias that fit absolutely perfectly. Alex and I had our time at Dad’s grave and as I made my way back to the car, I couldn’t help but look again, down each row to double-check and make sure I’d not taken flowers from someone else. As I reached the car, there was an undeniable peace that those flowers were there just for me.
My desire to have flowers to put on my dad’s grave? That’s a little thing and do you know what? God cared about it. That seemingly insignificant desire in my heart. Luke 12:7 says, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than sparrows.” Knowing that God takes the time to know the number of hairs on our heads, now that’s a God of detail! Those flowers were the answer to my heart’s desire that morning regardless of how they got there. Some would call what happened a “God wink.” It was God’s way of reassuring me that He see’s me, He loves me and He’s working on every single detail of my life, from the big things to the little things.
Life, Love & Cancer Ribbons,